Find The Truth In Islam: 2014

I remember when I was really young that I had a friend which her father is Lebanese and I was always curious about him, but also I was so shy that I did not want to ask anything to my friend (and still nowadays I don't). At the same age, my grandma went to Dubai and came back saying wonderful things about the place and since that day I always wanted to see that city and its beachs, biuldings, mosquees and muslims. For a while, my history with Islam stopped but it was just beginning.

When I started to write books at the age of 11, I had many ideas of fiction stories and I always kept thinking about make a normal romance, but I though that I could never do that. The thing is that I like those romances that are prohibited and one day I challenged myself to at least try to create one like this. So, I started to think about possibilities of couples and I was watching a news from Israel and I just though "why not?". So, I started to search about Israel, Palestine, Gaza... and the jewish boy from Tel Aviv came in my mind, embracing a muslim girl from Ramallah. For me, Isaac and Leena were perfect and also the story would be.

So of course I started to read about Judaism and Islam to make my writing rich and with a lot of details. The first religion I've begun to read was judaism and I liked but at the same time it was confusing to me. Like I tried to show at the beginning of this text, I ways always fascinated with arabic things, so I just hurried up to read Islam. Every day I read more and more about it and I started to open more my eyes. The last sure I had about this was when I first though about convertion. My convertion to Islam. "No, Bruna. Stop. You are just ansious with this book, nothing more. Is just a book", one part of me screamed. But the other part screamed back "Is a really good choice. Is your chance to be more devoted to God and change your life. Do it, Bruna!". So I did.

I said my shahada in February 16th of 2014 with 16 years and just five months for the birthday of seventeen years. Before that, I started to talk with muslims about my doubts and all of them offered help and said they would be here for me. One of them helped me the most and guided me during all the process of shahada and also changed my name to Jannat (he thinks this name is perfect for me because looks pretty much like Jannah, the Paradise). I am very thankful for him and the others. I am very lucky to have these people with me.

I still did not finish the Quran, I still do not know much things and I still did not tell my parents. I am planning to do this when I finish school, in the best and calm way I can explain for them. This will not be easy, but is just another rock Allah put in my way because He knows I can pick it to finish building my castle. Although all of that, I promise to God every night that I am going to give my best to be a good muslimah and let Him proud of me.

Inshallah, my life will get easier.

My life before Islam and how it took a very unexpected turn I was raised in a small country town in rural NSW consisting of only 2000 ppl to whom most were my family as both my patents and their family we born in that small town......my parents are Australian and their parents and so on......i was raised in the typical western way, although I always felt a little different to everyone else ... We had the title of Christians but never practiced like many other Aussies When I was 17 I fell in love and married shortly after...... He was born to a Russian father and Moroccan mother but had been raised in Israel, yes Israel, I usually don't tell this part of the story but the irony if it all is quiet amazing......my husband had the typical Israeli mentality towards Muslims which manifested in me after spending a year in Israel, I was just 18 so I was very naive to the rest of the world and trusted in what he told me, plus I had seen some things during my time in Israel which really only assured me what I was being told to believe was actually the truth........So, to me, muslims were terrorists...... I was Tel Aviv the day the Dizengof centre had been bombed.... To an 18 year old country girl who lived in the comfort of her tiny town this kind of thing that only happened In movies or was something we only seen on the news so seeing it for real was a real eye opener and ultimately sealed the deal in my opinion about Muslims I've since learnt that this was only one side of the story, told only by the views of the Israelis themselves During my time in Israel I worked on an army base selling food to the IDF and hearing stories of young men who had been killed only added to my already growing negative opinion of Muslims as these young ppl were my age, and while all my friends were worrying about where the next party was, most these young ppl were telling stories of fallen friends, lives lost in what seemed to me as a senseless tit for tat game, I just couldn't understand how ppl lived like this!!!!! We used to travel to bet'lehem to buy supplies for the kiosk and I remember one day while going to gather the things we needed seeing a lady covered from head to toe in a sea of black fabric, which was soooo strange to me being from a country where bearing minimal clothes was the normal thing....... she was walking behind a man who seemed to show no regard for her as he raised his hand to her, and again, it added to my rapidly growing MISUNDERSTANDING of Muslims but at that stage I wasnt to know that My husbands father had a bedioun working for him, a simple humble man who was to become my favorite person in all my time there even though communicating with him was only through hand gestures and nods of the heads lol, one of the most memorable experiences in my time there was when I visited his home, which was actually a tent in the middle of the dessert to have tea with his family, when we arrived his wife rushed and grabbed a mattress for us to sit on and she hurried off to prepare tea, she then served us then sat in the background quietly, again confirming what I was being made to believe I remember oneday while visiting the Dead Sea with my husband there was a small boy about 9 years old who was struggling to get out of the water as he had swallowed the salty sea water and was trying to call for his parents on the shore, his face was red and he was distressed.....I said to my husband ' quick that boy needs help, help him!' He replied by saying " fk him, he's only an Arab" I was horrified because while I may have been able to be sympathetic to what was happening to his ppl, all I seen was a small boy who needed help, so I rushed over to him to help, ofcourse to the displeasure of my husband but I didn't care, he was, in my eyes, just an innocent child regardless of his race....... I was to find out later he was a young British boy which didnt matter to me either way My husband and I actually married while I was in Israel, well we tried, but because I was technically a Christian and he was technically a Jew, even though he didnt believe in anything and nor did I really, we couldn't marry there, he was happy to convert to Christianity but it was a long process so because religion didn't really mean anything to me I offered to become a Jew but he refused, because even him himself hated Jews!!!!!!.... so, we travelled to Cyprus to marry there, Allahs plan was already in motion We went by boat to Cyprus and we docked in Port Said in Egypt, having an Australian passport I could easily enter the country unlike him carrying an Israeli passport, so I got of the boat to wander in the streets nearby....... There was a small boy, maybe 5 who came up to me, he was dressed in old clothing and looked poorly and he asked me for 1 pound ' lady lady plz one pound' I would have given him 100 pounds if i had it, but I didn't take anything except my passport, I still remember that little boys face and how I felt telling him I had none, I imagined what my husband would have said if he was with me, I really felt for that boy...... I remember looking around at the buildings that look like they could collapse at any given minute and was in awe that ppl actually lived like this, I was in ways touched in an unusual way.... After about 4 hours I headed back to the boat, as we left I noticed a large building standing high which caught my attention so I took photos of it, when I look back over my pictures now I'm somewhat amazed because most the buildings that caught my attention were actually masjids...... So back in Israel some months later and my husband decided to take me to Jerusalem to the markets in the old city, what a beautiful amazing place, corridors of endless mazes,.....,when the day was almost done and we left the markets we came to the wailing wall, I remember watching this crazy ritual of ppl bowing at a wall, as I stood there watching...... Suddenly....... I heard this beautiful voice resonating from somewhere, I was sooooo captured by the sound as it echoed through the old city......It was ofcourse the azan and the first time for me to hear it, it would have been isha....... I remember saying to my husband that it sounded as if the man was crying.... I stood and listened till it finished, totally moved by the experience ........ I know now, this was my first call to Islam Looking back now I see I was always a Muslim bec I was different to most ppl I knew,......... it's from this point on that now I see Allah had started opening doors for me, perhaps he could see the good inside me even with the heavy influence I had around me Life had taught me many lessons in my time abroad, I had seen things at a young age which made me appreciate simple things that so many of us take for granted, I think already I was being shaped into a believer or at the very least, my heart was softening to it Shortly after we returned to Australia and life continued as usual, we separated after 8 years together and even though I had been through many hard times with him, he was like a stepping stone for me, leading me to my ultimate destination......I valued the lessons and experiences I learnt while in the Middle East and it had changed me greatly but i was still a firm non believer and still held negative opinions about Islam because what I had been told had been shown to me in my time in Israel, the stories I had heard, the aftermath of bombers, the road blocks and searches of cars in Bethlehem, I even remember saying to myself, if this is the holy land then no wonder why religion is so messed up..... In 2000 my grandmother fell suddenly ill and mum and I went back to my little home town to help care for her but sadly a few months later she passed away...... I remember we all stood next to her bed, my cousins and our parents as we watched her gasping for air, each breathe taking longer and longer, till, she didnt breathe again.... Watching her suffer had kinda set me back a bit, I was thinking as I watched my dear grandmother struggle, how can one be left to suffer in this way, it didn't seem fair at all!!!! The time had come to clear her stuff from her room, a room I could remember as a very small child...... As mum and my aunt decided what would be happening with certain items I remember looking to an old tv that sat in the corner of her room, I thought about how my grandmother and grandfather may have budgeted to buy this tv, then I looked around her room at all the things she had acquired during her life and I remember saying to myself " what's all this for, why do we collect things and hold them dearly when one day it will be worth nothing to us" this was a big eye opener and maybe a big step forward for me but as a westerner when we think about God and religion it's Christianity or nothing, we rarely think beyond what's normal for us and because Christianity didn't make sense ( and still doesn't ) I was left in limbo for some time i then fell pregnant with my first son and while everyone was naming their children unusul names, something took me to the bible, and i named my first son Zachary....was Allah showing me the way but i didnt understand it...i looked to the wrong religion, the wrong book!!....my second son i named him Daniel, again another prophets name so after the passing of my grandmother, as I said I had a setback, but was soon to be back on track and this is where my life took an unexpected turn oneday while on the net, i was perusing yahoo answers and suddenly a screen popped up, and it said ""Mohamed Samy is typing"" i was shocked....someone is talking to me......i didnt even know about IM's at that stage........this was the final link in my journey to islam.....i started talking to this man, a young muslim........ i was not in a good place at the time and really needed company.....at the start we spoke about economy, politics, food, culture and finally, religion.......i must say i was stubborn, and i had ALL the hard questions....well so i thought...my 'stumper questions' (LOL) worked on the christians but the thing i didnt count on was someone actually having answers mashallah.......i played hard ball with him but every time i did, it just made me doubt my own thoughts even more (my thoughts about there being no God) one day while in an in depth conversation he asked me what i believe, i told him i was a big believer in karma.... do good get good, do bad get bad....thats usually how the world works..........the big turning point for me was when he asked me "so if u believe in this system, who controls it???.........somebody or something has to otherwise its just random chance" CHA-CHING...lights on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so now im like "o crap, theres is something out there"!!!!!!!.......so im now ready to believe theres a God but is Islam the way, muslims r terrorist and the women r oppressed!!!!' alhudulilah his sabr was amazing the one thing i remember the most is Surah Rahman by Saad Alghamdi, he sent that to me and asked to listen, i couldnt understand the words but something happened to me as i listened, it was like the day i heard the azan for the first time.......even though i didnt understand, it was like my heart did because i could feel it....i couldnt just ignore that feeling...so i became more open, so I started looking into islam myself and with his help everytime we met him online...... he would show me something new, and i was more and more amazed....while i was very head strong and hard, i couldnt deny it anymore......Islam is for me, ""ohhhh my GOD, im muslim"" during my journey with him, he gave me the greatest gift anyone could ever give, figuratively speaking because we know it comes from Allah....subhanAllah i took my shahada on the 7th Feb 2007....kids aside........the most amazing, greatest day of my life i know many ppl sometimes think we convert for a man, and while he may be the reason, as muslims we know thats from Allah, none of us can make someone muslim, we can show them islam but thats as far as it goes......Allah chooses whom he wills and then puts ppl and things in our way for us to know....alhumdulilah for all mine:-))